ahhhh

top surgery planning / blunt personal venting

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I think I’ve decided I’m gonna work to find a surgeon that’s willing to do periareolar on a b-cup!

Have been feeling odd and off about the double incision results I’ve seen lately. They often look great, but when I picture embodying it, I dont feel quite right. I’ve worked out it’s not the scars that bother me, it’s the nipples. They look, because I suppose they are, ornamental. Lobbed off and pasted back on.. I don’t like that for my body, I don’t want to be severed from my nipples.. That makes me tremendously uncomfortable.

I have always felt incredibly awkward and unhappy with my tits but only because they’re big and floppy (big for male tits at least. Kinda masculine/man tit looking but way oversized for even male Gynecomastia) Not because of the sensation or general vibe of having a bit of something there.

I can’t say I wholey feel alienated from my chest, just greatly unhappy with the size of it. The extremeness.

I don’t want a totally lean, totally unfamiliar chest with (most likely numb) little nubby thumbtack nipples. That doesn’t feel right, it just feels like it solves a problem. The idea of my chest and nipples as I know them but simply drawn inwards, seems so RIGHT.

They’d maybe be a little puckered and low for a typical male chest - honestly most results I’ve seen, even if they don’t meet the cis or trans male beauty standard - they still look typically male. And I think for my body type and lifestyle I could bulk out my pecs okay to get everything looking firmer anyway.

I think I’m set! Which is a big call because my size would be for sure considered only borderline eligible by most surgeon’s standards. So I might end up having to travel because I’ve been yet to find any experienced surgeons here in Australia..

But I’m gonna chase someone with the right skills and experience because fuck it, it’s my one and only body and if I’m gonna front up the bravery and money to change it, I’m not taking a compromise for convention’s sake.

SIDENOTE I’m so happy for the people who feel elated and at ease with their DI results! It doesn’t ick me on others, just the idea of it on me 🙏